No Need to Say Goodbye
by namelesspanda
Summary: William reflects on Daisy, the war, and a little bit of his childhood. William-centric. Hints of William/Daisy. A brief mention of Mary/Matthew.


_**A/N:**__ William-centric drabbles, set from pre-series one through 2x05. The verse is from Regina Spektor's "The Call"._

_I do not own Downton Abbey or the lyrics quoted below._

* * *

_It started out as a feeling_

_which then grew into a hope_

_which then turned into a quiet thought_

_which then turned into a quiet word_

_and then that word grew louder and louder_

'_til it was a battle cry_

William isn't exactly sure when he fell for her. He thinks it was sometime after she walked through the back door of Downton Abbey for the first time, but part of him feels as if he's known Daisy forever. It's an odd feeling, fancying her. Mum always told him that a girl would break his heart someday, and he would forget about her. But William can't forget her, in the same way he won't ever forget the smell of his mother's Saturday pudding—she's much too big of a part of his life for that. Even after his carefully gathered courage has been trampled on by a combination of Daisy and Thomas—well, he's a bit of a spoilsport at first, but after a bit he goes right on back to his old ways, pining after her day and night.

_I'll come back when you call me_

_no need to say goodbye_

_just because everything's changing_

_doesn't mean it's never been this way before_

He tries to tell her that the war won't change anything, that it'll be all right when he comes back. His own dad is a veteran, and he and Mum made it through.

For some reason, Daisy doesn't seem convinced.

But he knows it can work, it has to work. She's his girl now and the only thing standing between them is the blasted war. Not that the war doesn't matter—he _does_ want to fight—but it's like a fence between him and his future, and he can't skirt around it.

_All you can do is try to know who your friends are_

_as you head off to the war_

_pick a star on the dark horizon_

_and follow the light_

He and Captain Crawley both have pictures of their fiancées. On one of his very first days in the trenches, he makes an offhand comment about it, but the other man flinches. A few minutes later, when they're called to go over the top, the Captain leaves his picture behind in favour of a small toy dog.

But William carries his photograph. It feels like he's taking her with him, only not really—because Daisy would be flabbergasted at all the fighting. She's a gentle person, he knows, and doesn't really understand why he's gone off to war.

He doesn't understand it either.

It's a thick porridge of confusion, his brain, just muddled ideals and a strong sense of duty. He knows he has to fight, even if he's just a cog in a factory like Lang says.

_You'll come back_

_when it's over_

_no need to say goodbye_

On leave, he starts to want to go back. He itches to be in the trench, to feel the thrill of dodging and shooting. Because no one understands. He feels so distant from them, going on with their lives as if nothing's happened, while his whole world has changed.

But when he actually does have to go back, he clings to Daisy and doesn't want to let go, even though she tells him he's making a fuss. Each time, he knows he must let go, but what he doesn't know if it'll be the last time he'll ever see her. Or touch her.

_Now we're back to the beginning_

_it's just the feeling and no one knows yet_

_but just because they can't feel it too _

_doesn't mean that you have to forget_

He can tell she's hesitant, but it's a beautiful ceremony anyway. It doesn't matter that he's lying flat on his back, unmoving, and that her bouquet consists of flowers that have been hastily picked from Molesley's garden. They're married, good and proper, and nothing can change that.

William thinks he hears his mum's lilting voice, singing somewhere far away. He feels like a child again, listening to a barely audible lullaby as his eyes drift shut.

_Let your memories grow stronger and stronger_

'_til they're before your eyes_

_you'll come back when they call you_

_no need to say goodbye_

_you'll come back when they call you_

_no need to say goodbye._

He never wakes up. William Mason's world is forever dark.


End file.
